Book 8: SECOND STAR TO THE RIGHT
If there was a song that could’ve been awarded the (debatable) honor of 'longest unrealized concept’, this one would be it. For years, I have been trying to write something about the beauty and magic of being able to retain childhood wonder as you grow up; the art of building a shield against being jaded by the world.
Through the years, there have been iterations of this concept, some more successful than others, but all somehow incomplete or out of place. They didn’t fit with the 12 Months songs, they definitely (maybe —> if you get this reference, I bow to you in gratitude for your streams) didn’t fit on the Hopeless Romantic album. But fast forward a few months, and suddenly I find myself enveloped in bookstores, and pages of stories and feelings tucked neatly inside book covers. What better way to write about childhood wonder than with the backdrop of a children’s book concept?
In December of 2023 (when I was already planning out the At The Bookstore songs), it occurred to me that it might not be the worst idea to try and relate each of the book songs with an actual book genre (think: Timekeeper’s Secret is Sci-Fi, When I Fall In Love is Romance, Diver is Autobiography, etc. - you get the gist). And if there’s one story that is inextricably linked with trying to hold on to childhood, it’s Peter Pan. So I sat down at the piano, tried out a few lyrics and came up with this:
There’s not much from this version that survived the process of elimination that I embarked on in the following months, but I kept one crucial element: that piano octave post-chorus melody (you can hear it in the final master of the song). This was by far my favorite version of the concept I had written so far, but it still felt a bit intangible, not fully fleshed out.
The scene, however, was set: laying in your bed at night, looking at the starry night sky through your window and letting your mind wander. It was these lyrics that I liked in particular because I felt they carried that essence of being young and awestruck by everything that surrounds you:
pixie dust pinches, pocketful of dreams
the cardboard crown princess with little girl schemes
I found this image on Pinterest and held on to it with dear life - there was something about the frills and the bows and the nostalgia and serenity of it all that felt exactly like what I wanted this song to feel like.
I temporarily shelved this song and stopped tinkering with it to shift my focus on other songs I was releasing at the time, but it still managed to live rent-free, at the back of my mind. Every now and then, during a long hot shower or evening solo walk, I would find myself thinking about it, trying to dissect it to figure out why its current demo felt intangible. A few thinking sessions later, I had it: there was no real arc to it. There were whiffs of motivation and longing, but nothing concrete enough for the listener to care. Whatever updated version of this I was going to write had to have more internal conflict, a more vivid depiction that could result in an overwhelmingly joyful resolution.
There must be something with me, this song concept and Christmastime because a year later from that original demo (almost to the date!!), I found myself back at my living room piano, reworking that lingering childhood wonder song.
But this time, I came prepared. I decided to ditch the original Neverland title because it was too on the nose. It just so happened that my family decided to take a trip down to LA’s Disneyland for Thanksgiving and it just so happened that right before the clock struck midnight and the park was officially closed, I hopped on the Peter Pan ride (hoping to get some inspiration for my song). As I was eagerly awaiting to be seated on one of the floating wooden ships (I added a reference to this later in the first pre-chorus lyrics: skies full of ships that the starlight engraves), a symphony of strings soaring from the speakers was briefly interrupted by Peter Pan’s voice:
towards the second star to the right and straight on ‘til morning
THAT was my title! What better way to name a song about finding your way back to your childhood self than with the actual directions to Neverland!!!
So I made this:
This is pretty beside the point (sorry!!), but I feel it’s worth mentioning before we proceed that the 2003 live action remake of Peter Pan featured my very first crush. THIS was the Peter Pan I grew up with and he was my first love. You think I’m exaggerating? As we were walking out of the movie theatre having just seen this movie, I vividly remember asking my mom if I thought this actor (Jeremy Sumpter - you never forget the name of your first love, after all) was too old for me to date. I also Googled him when I got home and painstakingly tried to convince my mom that a 5 year age gap is totally chill (mind you, he was a teenager at this point).
ANYWAYS back to the song. Since we’ve established it needed more visceral conflict, I decided to use the two verses as mirrors of each other. One is a childhood version of yourself, the other is the adult version. They both use the same storytelling style, listing locations and activities,. They even both include a boat parallel: your child-self sees ships floating through the air on starlight while your adult-self is on a leaky boat, desperately rowing - not to move forward but simply to stay afloat.
VERSE 1:
Ruby shoes, rosy cheeks
Skipping down linden street
Hears the birds, sings along
Joining in their morning song
Big ideas, little hands
Dreaming up mighty plans
Waves hello to the sun
A new adventure has begun
There’s pirates and princes and crocodile caves
And skies full of ships that the starlight engraves
VERSE 2:
Busy streets, blinding lights
Chasing dreams, losing time
Life becomes a leaky boat
You’re rowing just to stay afloat
The more you live, the more it seems
That shine can fade from everything
Eventually, it’s all the same
And you’re just getting through the day
There’s heartbreaks and mistakes and searching within
And nights without sleep wondering what could have been
All that I needed now was the point of inflection, the event that spurs into motion a conscious decision to try and regain and retain childhood wonder, refusing to be numbed by the years spent in this world.
And what’s a common symbol of wonder in the night sky? Ah, of course: comets.
And out of nowhere, into light
A comet sparkles through the night
And takes my breath away
The whimsy of the little things
Is where the magic spreads its wings
And that’s where it will stay
It lingers in the scent of rain
Or in a springtime bird’s refrain
On ordinary days
It’s pockets full of pixie dust
And keeping faith and growing trust
And staying wonderstruck
It’s beautifully tragic
To long for the magic
Only to find it inside of you
Since I already referenced pirates and crocodiles and starlight ships (all directly related to Peter Pan), I thought it might be fun to allude to another famous quote from the book. I did some research (read: I Googled) and stumbled upon this:
It was purely serendipitous that this famous quote featured pixie dust so I thought using it and reworking the quote slightly could be a nice way to give a nod to the song’s original demo AND the book inspiration behind it all.
So I went and sneaked it into one of the bridge stanzas:
It’s pockets full of pixie dust
And keeping faith and growing trust
And staying wonderstruck
Now that the song was finished, it was time for me to start putting together the production. Since this was all inspired by a children’s book and the theme was literal childhood wonder, I thought it’d be criminal of me not to make this sound as magical and nostalgic and Disney as possible.
Cue: pizzicato strings, harp, celesta, wind chimes and a few twinkling synth pads.
*fun fact: I posted this very clip (the working demo instrumental of the song, no vocals) on TikTok about two months before release and received SO many comments about how it sounds like classic Disney (many also mentioned Tinkerbell which truly is just s chef’s kiss compliment!). It gave me the validation I needed to fully commit to the theme and started layering in even more magical-sounding instruments that to me sounded and felt like flying through a starry night sky.
These are some of the pizzicato strings in the chorus:
And live acoustic guitar strums that Victor recorded over my demo:
Then he added a melodic motif on top of those strums:
And Chris recorded these gorgeously lush live drums:
I especially love this little celesta countermelody in the chorus that is almost reminiscent of a lullaby:
Surprisingly, this production came together SO. FRICKEN. EASY. And yeah, maybe I had re-calibrated my expectations slightly after the tumultuous debacle that was Louvre (me? dramatic?? never.), but this one really was the smoothest of sailings. It’s the kind of instrumentation style that I’m most comfortable with and the puzzle pieces are easy to put together if you know what the final image will look like.
I also went crazy with the vocals (the final version of the song has over 90 individual vocal tracks!!) and recorded layers upon layers of harmonies and choral backgrounds. I mainly listened to lots of original 1960s Disney songs like When You Wish Upon A Star and A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes, then mimicked those ethereal sky high operatic falsettos in my song (my mom and my neighbors loved this part of the process especially).
With the song finished, it was time to shift focus entirely on the music video. I had already visualized the general concept and shots in my head when I was working on the song so this step required more technical work, figuring out the specifics and logistics that will need to take place in order for the vision in my head to be manifested in the real world.
Since the song was very theatrical (I honestly think it really wouldn’t be out of place in a Broadway musical or a Disney feature), I thought it’d be cool to carry that feeling into the video as well. I decided to keep the camera static throughout and have the storyline of the song play out as if on stage - a sort of a one-woman show, if you will. I kept thinking back to my original inspiration image of Wendy sleeping in her bed and thought that could be a good central reference for the video.
I found a photo backdrop on Amazon that looked like a starry night sky and immediately remembered a scene in one of my favorite movies (La La Land, duh):
*side note: La La Land is an homage to classic Hollywood, and this scene is no different. It was inspired by the 1952 film Lovely To Look At
So art imitates life imitates art imitates life and here is little old me in her backyard, building a mini video set with her parents.
My idea was to alternate between two different scenes: one that would depict my childhood vs. adult self, and one that would be the central figure whose voice we’re hearing throughout the song. Since the chorus lyrics are literally “I lay in my bed and I think of that girl”, I naturally thought to myself: we need a bed!! haha I also got some fluffy faux clouds to layer on top of the bed so it would look like you’re sitting on a cloud (heavily inspired by this shot from my beloved 2003 Peter Pan movie):
Both verses of the song feature some sort of boat imagery and I thought it would be SO cool if we could create a life-sized origami paper boat to use for the video. It would be so wonderfully whimsical and help to underline the message of childhood wonder. My dad (as per usual) said “say less”, and got to work on the boat (that man truly is iconic and loves a project).
We spent the afternoon preparing everything and as the sun set, it was time to film. Everything was shot on my iPhone and we even used a projector trick I learned about just hours beforehand on Youtube to create a star-shaped light on my face (for the ending part of the song where you find the second star to the right, wink wink).
We also shot everything at 60fps so I could slow down the final footage and give it that dreamy, slow motion effect (I used the same trick in the Diver and Montana Sky videos). That also meant I had to lip sync the whole song at twice the speed so that it would line up perfectly once slowed down. To give you an idea, this is the demo track I filmed the music video to:
OUTFIT 1 - the child
I initially wanted to use a white cloth as a cape for this outfit (kind of like what kids do when they play pretend), but my mom made the wise call to ditch it because it really looked terrible. She ran to her closet and came back with this Zara ruffle shirt that was absolutely perfect. We also added a wooden sword and pirate hat from Amazon.
OUTFIT 2 - the adult
I wanted to use a super oversized blazer and my mom came to the rescue once more: this is actually my dad’s wedding blazer! We also added in one of his color matching ties, and an 80s prop phone and leather bag (once again from Amazon’s treasure trove).
OUTFIT 3 - the narrator
This is actually the exact same dress that I used for the August music video back in 2022! To try and spice it up a bit this time around, I added a silver glittered string and glued on a cardboard sparkly star. We actually bought a bunch of these because I initially thought part of the video would be me “attaching” the stars to the night sky, but I ended up abandoning the idea and we returned most of the stars.
I think there’s something profoundly beautiful about documenting your life through music. Spending hours and days and weeks and months capturing a feeling that is both uniquely personal and yet somehow also fundamentally universal. You craft it slowly and carefully and once you put it into the world, that feeling is forever immortalized.
And if that is the path I choose to follow, I think there’s an unspoken obligation for me to use this opportunity to say something with some sort of depth. I truly believe, down to my core, that the point of our brief time on this wild and miraculous planet is to try and find joy wherever we can. Absolutely everything around us is sheer magic (just think about the fact that the same particles that make up your body are also the same exact particles that make up the entire universe!!!!), yet we get sucked into the whirlwind and vacuum of the cacophony of the every day. When you’re child and you see a rainbow for the first time, it feels like one of your fairytale books came to life. It’s beautiful and inexplicable and whimsical and fun. But as you get older, you see more and more rainbows, that initial wonder and shine and sparkle slowly get dulled down, until rainbows become “just” light refractions that appear in the sky every now and then.
I’m fully ranting now, but I guess what I’m trying to say is: the world doesn’t get less magical, it’s just us that lose our ability to see this magic. And if we can continue to stay awestruck in our adulthood - isn’t that a beautiful life?